So...on Wednesday I was feeling much better after days of being sick...so I guess to the people I work with I must have seemed much more upbeat or hyper or something. So this guy who sits by me said something to the effect of, "Shana you drank coffee didn't you!!!" And then...the place turned to madness. This girl turns around and says, "OMG Shana, you didn't!"...someone else says, "Drinking coffee gives your baby ADD" and then there was a "Shana think of the baby," and it was like a chorus of ridicule around me. I really can't explain the though process my mind went through...I started off by thinking...yeah, I've had coffee a total of one time in my life....ever....and it's disgusting....then I was thinking what the hell do these non-children having 20 somethings know....then I was thinking the charges they made were ridiculous....and then finally I was pissed b/c I've never really been one to need permission of everyone around me to do ANYTHING!
So....I was just shocked and appalled by these people...first of all, I am the internet research queen. There have been a grand total of like two studies that "proved" anything regarding caffeine and pregnancy....one that showed it may increase the chance of miscarriage...and one that showed it may decrease blood flow to the uterus....neither of which were conclusive by any stretch of the word...and it's in fact the official opinion that caffeine in small amounts is perfectly safe. So...I am listening to these wild accusations of these non pregnant people...about something that I didn't even do...and I am pissed!
I think I've had it lucky though b/c I have a persona that doesn't really invite a whole lot of advice...I haven't had the ridiculous amount of unsolicited advice and touching of the belly that many pregnant women go through...so I guess I was bound to get some!!!
I think the most annoying thing Chris and I agree we've heard consistently are the lines that start with "just wait." First of all...there isn't a WHOLE LOT ELSE FOR ME TO DO THAN JUST WAIT. Thanks for the advice...I WAS planning on inducing labor three months early...mostly b/c I didn't want to wait. *roll eyes* Also...this line indicates that people are projecting ill will toward me...like...just wait until you suffer like I did!!!! Dude...if you have issues take them up with a friggin psych...don't get voodoo on me. Finally...the just wait line devalues what I am going through right now. I am sure in hindsight I won't remember it or care much about it...but right now let me just experience it. Chris hears me marvel all the time about things with this pregnancy. I think he thinks I am complaining, but really I am just speaking outloud with wonder at the weirdness of it all. Like....WHY has my nose been stuffy since 10 weeks? What purpose did that possibly serve? Why, oh why, do my gums bleed? I mean...cmon...some of this stuff just really makes no sense and therefore I am not on board. Not that anyone in the complaint department is really listening...
3 comments:
You are so right. Many of us do "project" and offer unsolicited advice. But, please, TELL me if it is negative or bothersome. I am sorry they hit you so hard about the caffeine thing. Maybe they couldn't find anything else they think you are doing wrong:) BTW, those are the same people who will offer child-rearing advice, too! The childless people know lots more than the people who actually have children!
I am talking about complete strangers...they have a weird way of getting involved without being asked. I don't consider family advice...especially from you bloggers unsolicited...I put everything on here hoping for a response to see what all the moms think. :)
I kept hearing, "life as you know it is over"...literally 20 times. I was over that after the second time. Yes, I get it, a baby changes things. And I did my own research on things like caffeine and soft cheeses...and now I do the same thing about Olivia's development...between the internet, books, my doctor and common sense, I figure the kid will live. And so will Zach, even though now you've completely deformed him by having a cup of coffee...or perhaps from sitting too close to dorks at work.
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